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isurvivedthekobayashimaru:

I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.

And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.

andrewhussiesbosom:

YESTERDAY AT HOT TOPIC I WAS BROWSING THINGS AND THERE WAS A GIRL BUYING A BASIC NIRVANA SHIRT AND WHEN SHE GOT HER RECEIPT AND WALKED AWAY I HEARD THE CASHIER SAY “SMELLS LIKE SOMEONE ONLY KNOWS ONE FUCKING SONG” I LAUGHED SO HARD.

gildedwildebeest:

orelpuppington:

IMPORTANT NEWS: “PIZZA ROLLS” IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF LETTERS FOR KNUCKLE TATTOOS

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